New findings from couldn't-track-a-hurricane-in-a-bathtub research monster Nielsen insists that, contrary to, um, fact, radio is not dead, and that young people simply adore the medium, just as much as they do their LPs, acid-wash jeans, "The Love Boat," Adam and the Ants, and Plymouth Dusters. As Crain's New York Business points out, Nielsen only recently got into the radio-measurement business. In its all-out assault on the dominant Arbitron, it's clearly eager to promote its own methodology in the eyes of radio execs and the ad community ... and we're sure it's only coincidence that along the way it just happens to pump up the medium itself. (One radio exec already delighted that Nielsen "has dispelled many of the harmful truths that have plagued our medium among the ad-buying community.") In a bit of data that sounds like it could've come straight out of a trade association press release, Nielsen claims that adults 18-34 listen to the radio an average of 21.5 hours per week. Forgive us, but does that number sound just a bit like total, um, pulled-it-out-of-their-butts crap to you? We don't think we listened to the radio that much growing up in the 80s, pre-Internet and iPod. Maybe they did the research inside a taxicab? A car wash? Duane Reade? Meanwhile, ClickZ is reporting the Coalition for Innovative Media Measurement, the group of large media companies and advertisers banding together in a pointed rebuke to the much-reviled research monopoly, has now invited Nielsen to be a part of their effort to ... unseat Nielsen?? Yeah, there's about as much a chance of that happening as our putting on the radio.
